The Year of Thawing

The Year of Thawing

I found that my memories were accurate and that there was not a whole lot that I read that I had forgotten. That wasn’t the problem. The issue was that my understanding of the nature of those events was warped. As I began talking about my childhood and teenage experiences with Dan and a few close friends, they responded with shock and sympathy.

After 19 Years of Marriage, I Think Divorce is WONDERFUL!

After 19 Years of Marriage, I Think Divorce is WONDERFUL!

I came to the same conclusion that divorce is… wonderful. I don’t mean it isn’t sad or hard or even tragic when it happens. But it is WONDERFUL that we have a choice. That we aren’t stuck. That we can unmake a decision, walk away, start over, or simply realize that who we are now is no longer suited to partner with the person that made sense once upon a time.

Religious Trauma is a Real Thing (Podcast interview)

Religious Trauma is a Real Thing (Podcast interview)

A few months ago, an old college friend asked me if I would be interested in being a guest on a new podcast that a colleague of hers was starting on Religious Trauma. I agreed, and sat down to a chat with Anna (a therapist) about what it’s like to go through religious trauma/spiritual abuse as a missionary. Being a victim of RT/SA is awful for everyone, but going through it as a missionary is particularly isolating and scary because…

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I am Bisexual

I am Bisexual

That’s the beauty and the frustration of being bisexual: you have the option to ignore the reality of your sexuality but you can also feel invisible – as if no one can know your fullness without intentional effort on your part.

Recovering Missionaries (Podcast)

Recovering Missionaries (Podcast)

I had so much fun on Ken Kemp’s podcast The Beached White Male. He invited me on the show to talk about deconstruction and what it is like to go through it when you are a professional Christian. Short answer: excruciating and terrifying. Long answer: you’ll have to listen to the conversation.

No, Jesus Didn’t Die on the Cross to Take Away My Sins

No, Jesus Didn’t Die on the Cross to Take Away My Sins

the penal substitutionary atonement theory is just one more toxic belief created by patriarchal Christianity. It does not reflect the nature or desires of God any more than the sexual slavery and genocides seen throughout the Bible reflect God’s purposes. Those things are descriptive of human cultures during those eras, and the Bible records human attempts to understand God with the explanations available to them during their time in history.

The Gift of Rage

The Gift of Rage

Rage has been my friend for a very long time. We have had a complicated relationship full of betrayals and misunderstandings, and truthfully, I’ve been the hurtful one. Rage has stuck by me even when I didn’t love her like she deserved to be loved. When I was around 6 or 7 years old, my pastor’s college-aged son came out as gay. The church was in uproar. I didn’t even know what “gay” meant, but I was heartbroken that the…

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Abuse in PIONEERS Missions Agency

Abuse in PIONEERS Missions Agency

I did not expect to wake up this angry today, but grief is a weird companion and where trauma rears its head can rarely be anticipated. Yesterday morning, I received an email from a friend who is still employed by my previous organization, PIONEERS (though not for much longer). She wanted to know if I had seen this article yet. “Sounds similar to your situation,” she said. She had recently found the author, Breanna, through a podcast and suspected it was a…

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